i feel like i repeat what i've been through at least three times a week.. maybe if people ACTUALLY cared about ME- i wouldn't have to do so?

i was thinking and i'm wondering if amanda TRUTHFULLY believes courage kenny helped me get to where i am now.. courage kenny was more concerned about covering their sad excuse of a "rehabilitation" institute (more like MENTAL institute because they cause a sane person who is just looking to rehabilitate CRAZY). i can't forget that my grandma PROMISED me that amanda wouldn't have me go to courage kenny anymore after she died because she'd be busy getting me to ny! i just looked at my grandma's funeral announcement and it says she died on august 22, 2015.. so it's been NEARLY ELEVEN YEARS. am i in new york? no.. do i have my driver's license and a vehicle i can drive (like my grandma CLAIMED amanda told her she'd help me get again)? no.. SHE'S DONE A WHOLE LOTTA NOTHING FOR ME. the furthest i could manage to get independently was my driver's permit. i took NUMEROUS behind-the-wheel classes (one of them said i was safe to drive and take the behind-the-wheel test) and i took that overrated excuse of a rehab. "institute"'s behind-the-wheel test two or three times. they FAILED me EVERY time- with the comment "needs more therapy". IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT ONE MORE TIME- I'M GONNA GO NUTS. DID THEY TELL JAMES, WHO IS A PARAPLEGIC AND CAN'T WALK BUT HE DRIVES A CAR, THAT HE NEEDED MORE "THERAPY" BEFORE THEY GAVE HIM HIS LICENSE? i think not. he HAS advocacy who ACTUALLY cares about him- so of course they told him he could drive. i've went to courage kenny from the time i was 19 until about 34.. I THINK I GOT ENOUGH FUCKIN THERAPY. AMANDA DOESN'T CARE AND IS JUST TRYING TO FIND ANY OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK GOOD AND FOR IT TO ACTUALLY BENEFIT HER. HER SISTER-IN-LAW HAPPENS TO WORK AT COURAGE KENNY! HOW PERFECT! NOW SHE CAN PRETEND TO ACTUALLY BE "SUPPORTIVE" OF ME WHILE CAUSING ME TO GO BACK IN MY REHABILITATION PROGRESSION SO SHE CAN LOOK GOOD TO HER IN-LAWS! ROCK ON! NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT STACY ANYWAY! SHE'S MENTALLY HANDICAPPED! RIGHT AMANDA? THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL. THAT'S NOT HOW FAMILY WORKS. family is supposed to be caring and supportive. NOT JUST to what benefits them.. ESPECIALLY NOT a person who has spent at least 15 years in a fucking wheelchair and were in a damn coma for 6 months. the most that overrated pile of shit of a rehabilitation center did for me was find my first apartment in minneapolis for me. that apartment had mice, bed bugs, roaches, you name it- it probably had it. i suppose anything is better than a place just concerned on taking advantage of their clients who are vulnerable adults and without advocacy. the past times i had to go to the emergency room, i tried calling amanda and her mom just to let them know where i was- did any of them return the call and check on me? hell no. so i told my cousin joe the last time i was in the hospital and having surgery on my bowel.. he even did a video chat with me for a few minutes to check how i was doing since i was being released from the hospital before he could come see me personally. THAT is how a truly CARING family member treats their family members. i read this post about how people were saying they had to tell people how to treat them who are older than them. i know EXACTLY how that feels. i got to the condition i'm in now with the help of tram holloway, who my grandma went out and found to ACTUALLY help me get outta my wheelchair because she realized how courage kenny wasn't truly helping me, he came to my place in burnsville and did arp treatment on me and i went to his offices for a while. courage kenny just gave me somewhere to practice walking- i realized i could do everything they were "helping" me with at my own apartment and i stopped wasting my time there. i remember filling out a goals chart when i first started going there and i put that i wanted to get my driver's license again and i wanted to walk without a wheelchair. so they took the opportunity to take advantage of my lack of helpful advocacy and failed me all the times i took the behind-the-wheel test there so i'd have to keep attending their overrated sorry excuse of a "rehabilitation" institute. my family cares about me so much they just assume all i'm capable of doing is attend an overrated excuse of a rehabilitation institute. that's ALL my mom, sister, and all my other (except joe and jay) relatives ask me about when i speak to them- assuming i'll think they actually care about me if they ask about the only thing they think they know i'm capable of doing. when i showed up at courage kenny without a walker, wheelchair, or anything else helping me to walk- kevin (my therapist at courage kenny) had told me not to return to courage kenny without something assisting me to walk because of liability. i never came close to falling when walking there ever- so that told me enough about their sorry excuse of a "rehabilitation" center and IF i'm EVER forced to go there again- i'll act like a maniac and the cops will be forced to remove me. don't put anything past me. my grandma used to always tell me, "where there's a will there's a way". that's the quote that motivates me and has got me this far. so it might be a good idea for amanda to ACTUALLY do what she told my grandma she'd do? that IS OF COURSE ONLY if she REALLY CARES about me. SHE'S MORE CONCERNED ABOUT HER IN-LAWS! YOU KNOW- THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MENTALLY HANDICAPPED! although, now that i think about it- my grandma was telling me how the son of her neighbor who is mentally handicapped (the son is) was driving now because her neighbor's wife helped him get it. so it IS possible for mentally handicapped people to drive.. so you lost your excuses not to help me get it again.. you're just a selfish, naive relative to me. the only reason i haven't killed myself yet is because i have a suspicion you'll try to get what money i have left even though i put in my will to give it all to my brother when i die.